Being a new mom who is trying to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible (is 6-12 months too ambitious?), I've found it interesting to follow the recent controversy surrounding public breastfeeding. Naturally, I'm processing it all through the lens of my own thoughts and experiences.
I haven't had to do much public breastfeeding yet, but I was flying (and breastfeeding) the day of the airport nurse-ins, though I was unaware of the nurse-ins at the time. I was aware of the general issue, of course, which has made it more difficult for me to consider nursing in public. I'm not shy, and I don't have any personal problems with feeding my child whenever she wants wherever I happen to be. What I AM, however, is hyper-sensitive to others, which means I hate the thought of making others uncomfortable. As a result, when I was traveling I was trying to be discreet. This meant covering Emelia (and my breast) while she was nursing. It also drove me to nurse in a smelly bathroom rather than in the crowded waiting area at the gate our flight was leaving from. Ugh.
Emelia and I are both new to this nursing thing. Leaving aside the problem of putting a cloth over a baby's face, nursing blind meant a great deal of frustration to both of us because she repeatedly came unlatched and both of us needed me to be able to see her in order to get her back on. Being discreet and keeping covered made it take longer, which meant that Emelia screamed more than she needed to. This made both of us miserable, and probably didn't help the moods of our fellow travelers, either. So which is worse -- the possibility of seeing some breast while a baby is nursing or the screaming of a frustrated baby that can't be nursed properly?
I'm not going to go any further into the issue, since there's plenty of information out there on both sides of it, and I'm not going to add anything new. I'm STRONGLY in the pro-public-breastfeeding camp, and, after my experience, I'm much more inclined to let discretion be damned in favor of pragmatism and expedience than I was just a week ago. It's hard enough trying to get anything done with a baby in tow without adding to it just because some people can't handle the sight of a breast being used the way it's SUPPOSED to be used.
That said, I refrained from whipping it out on my walk home from the grocery store yesterday, despite the fact that Emelia was screaming. I may have adjusted my thinking a bit, but it might take me some time for my actions to catch up. After all, what would the neighbors think?
7 comments:
I say throw a blanket or diaper over her as best as you easily can, and if anyone is unconfortable they're free to pull it up, or ask you to.
In the incident that triggered the nurse-in, the woman refused to let the flight attendant cover her with a blanket. I'm with the mother in spirit, but don't recommend standing on a principle so long you're kicked off it.
I'm with Mary P. I nursed both kids in public but it takes time and practice for both of you before you can keep the blanket in place.
Eventually, N could find her own way under there!
My son continued to pull the darn thing off every stinking time and he hasn't shown a shy side yet!
SOME of the nursing tops actually do a decent job of covering you and baby, too -- but it still may be a few more weeks before you won't have to do as much manuevering.
And YES on the 6-12 months, too!
I nursed N for 13 months and then weaned her. C weaned himself after 11 months.
As one of your neighbors, I can strongly assert...that we'd be glad Emelia's eating. Oh, and my other half would probably stare for a sec, because he's a perv that way. :-)
Anna (who doesn't have a bloggy bone, or account, in her anywhere)
Congrats Kathy on joining the secret sorority of moms. The rules of club entitle me, as a grandma, to dispense golden advice to which you are obligated to defer (when I am watching). On breastfeeding -- sensitivity to others' feelings doesn't extend to hurting yourself or your child to coddle them. Someone somewhere will get offended by almost anything, but as mommy you get to be right on this one. Breastfeeding is good for Emelia and good for you for doing it. I nursed Kendra for 18 mos. gradually shifting from all my milk all the time to a mixed diet to where nursing was really more a bedtime comfort than a nutrition source. Worked great for us, even though I had to go back to work parttime at 6 mos. If the world could deal with it them, they can deal with it now.
On outings, the news is not so good. It is true that everything that was simple becomes timeconsuming and complicated trying to mix baby and modern life. Wait until she poops after you finish the snowsuit, boots, mittens, etc. But you do get more adept at the juggling acts, and she gets older, and eventually (perhaps all too soon) not only do you get to go places more easily but she gets to go places without you.
Thanks for starting this blog. It brings back so many wonderful feelings and memories from the early days of motherhood. And from the other end of it I can report it was ALL definitely, totally WORTH it! Leslie
Hi Kathy - Just learned about your blog today. Thanks for sharing with us! It brings back great memories that seem just like yesterday (even if it was almost 10 years ago). I nursed my 1st for 11 months (and fed another baby who was sick too by pumping extra milk) and I nursed our 2nd for 12 months. I nursed everywhere you can imagine. Eventually, I could push a grocery cart and shop and nurse at the same time (no blanket). People around me usually didn't realize what I was doing - sometimes they would even talk with me and then realize I was feeding. Don't have any problems nursing in public. Hang in there and worry about you and Emelia. Welcome to the club of nursing moms. I used to love that time - it forced me to sit down and enjoy a few minutes w/ my baby. Sue in S.C.
Hi there!
I'm on my second baby, and I will now feed him anywhere. I am as discreet as I can be (I'm still not great at getting him latched on, and do need two hands). Really, if other people have a problem, it is just that - their problem. Not Mine.
Your baby needs to eat. Better she should scream? I think not!
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